Burlap & Satin

I find myself really yearning for some new (real live local) friends. Thing is, I don't make friends easily. I've started to realize that I was too busy being ignored and shunned as a child to really learn any social skills. There's not much I can do about that now obviously, but I still feel that it stunts me. I know that I come on too strong sometimes or that people think I'm loud and bossy (which I sometimes am) or that I'm just too different and weird (which I also sometimes am), but I honestly don't feel those are detriments and I don't act that way all the time. I just know that it takes a certain kind of person for me to connect to on a deeper-than-acquaintance level. Not to mention that once I do connect with someone, I really really suck at keeping in touch and initiating any sort of lunch date, phone call, etc etc. (Again, that complete lack of social skills kicks in here.)
Turns out that losing your best friend (even though she was a complete drain and no longer really a friend at all) still leaves a small void in your life. I don't miss the screwed up dynamic I had with her, but I do miss having a history with someone, memories, laughs, connection. I guess I'm just wishing it didn't have to be this way. But I also believe that some things really do happen for a reason, and I know that I'm happier without the extra drama in my life. I only wish I could create something else to fulfill me and replace what was.