Burlap & Satin

Feeling inspired by Leah's beautiful artwork yesterday, and the process of facing inner monsters, I began to wonder what my own inner critic would look like sitting inside of me. I had a vision of a nasty soul-sucking mouth swallowing all that is good and sitting at the base of my throat, absorbing all input. Then I imagined my heart, my soul, and my spirit filling with wild flame and burning it out of me, overpowering its negativity by creating something overwhelming and beautiful, allowing me to feel peace and vitality simultaneously.

Then I created this.

"You Have Underestimated My Fire" is 11x14 and marker on watercolor paper.

Closeup One
Closeup Two
Closeup Three
Closeup Four
Closeup Five

It's the first time I've created any artwork - that wasn't part of home decor - in months. I can't say exactly why but I'm feeling incredibly driven and artistic lately. I think it stems from the fact that I've finally decided on some type of career path for myself. I want to create art, to make things that will allow me to express myself... but I've also always wanted to work with animals. I've decided that I can no longer keep dividing myself by trying to choose between the two. (Meaning the one the pays the bills and the one that doesn't. Sure, there's animal-themed artwork out there, but again it doesn't immediately pay the bills.) Rather, I'm going to try to do both and see where it lands me. You can't just be an artist without some sort of supplementary income, so that's where my quest for a non-medical animal job comes in. I've also come to the realization that working for other people, punching a clock, sitting in an office, working on someone else's schedule - those are things that just make me miserable. I'm a horrible employee, not because I'm a bad person or because I don't have anything to offer, but mostly because I'm so unbelievably independent that I have no respect for other people's rules. I've always envisioned working for myself and I honestly believe I was made this independent and strong-willed so that I could do something different, be something inspiring, give back.

I have some avenues I'm planning to explore, some calls to make, some areas to research. But to be able to have picked a place to channel my energy? That's pretty damn amazing and so far, I'm really loving it.