*sigh* It never ends in health care, does it? The complications, the wild cards, the delays. Yesterday, I finally had my most-dreaded appointment with Dr. DoNothing and ended up being completely surprised. Not only was she sympathetic and listening to me, but she was on top of her game for the first time since I've started seeing her. She went over my last blood test results (six months ago) and agreed that even though I was within "normal" range, I probably needed to be tweaked a little still. (Woah.) She then prescribed numerous extra blood tests for me to have done at the endocrinologist today and gave me copies of all my previous thyroid records. Seriously, this woman really wowed us yesterday. (Maybe I should change her name to Dr. DoSomething?)
So then we arrive at today. I was dreading the blood test (as is normal with me) and got a grand total of two hours sleep the night before. I'd also been dogsitting my mom's annoying-ass yappy dogs for two days and my nerves were on edge. But I did everything right. I brought my paperwork, we arrived early, I had my sedatives in hand ready to take about 20 minutes before the bloodwork began. We get there, there is no paperwork for me. They don't even have my name on the roster. Dr. DoNothing had faxed over everything she was supposed to and all was in order. Dr. Endo had seen no record of my appointment and had left for the day. Yeah. Eventually, after waiting about 20 minutes, the office manager came out and informed us that we would have to reschedule, as Dr. Endo is not even close to the building and hasn't even seen my paperwork yet. I asked if I could come back tomorrow because I really wanted this bloodwork done and out of the way.
Her response was, "She's only here on Tuesdays."
To which J.'s sharp-yet-awesome reply was, "Except this one."
If you could only have seen my absolute mental breakdown sitting outside on a bench in front of the entire medical community. Blood tests are so fucking impossible for me. I spend days, weeks dreading them, working myself up, trying not to panic, having nightmares, trying not to hyperventilate and overstimulate myself. I had also fasted for nearly 12 hours and was starving. All they had to do was show up for one appointment. ONE. (Did I mention I was the only endocrinologist appt scheduled that day? Yet they still couldn't be bothered to show up? For ONE appointment?)
Dr. DoNothing offered to do some of the bloodwork for me that day, but in the end, I don't want to have two separate blood tests to worry about in the same week - one from Dr. DoNothing, one from Dr. Endo. I just want it all done at once, I want it over.
I am scheduled for another appointment next Tuesday. This is how desperate I am for answers, I will put myself through anxiety hell for another week just to speak to someone that understands my thyroid. I was assured that Dr. Endo WILL be there (and by the look on the office manager's face, I believe this) and I am one of the first appointments of the day. Still, considering I am a new patient and had never met this doctor before, it's a hell of a first impression, don't you think?
It just sucks in a bad way. I was so excited (and worked up) for this endo appt and now I know absolutely nothing. Square One really is not where I wanted to be. This is one of the reasons I cried my eyes out earlier today. I didn't want to go another week not knowing. I didn't want to feel this bone-crushing exhaustion for yet another seven days. I didn't want to feel like a burden on my husband and animals because I am so useless lately. I didn't want to continue living like this for another week just to have to wait on test results for days afterward. It all just sucks.
But that's where I am. What can I do?