The Burlap Soulmate

When you care enough to send the very best

I feel like Alex Trebek. I have an answer:

Now all I need is the question.

Truth be told I don't like diamonds, the concept of them anyway. I don't like that they are a false commodity propped up to ridiculously high prices by a ruthless and corrupt cartel. I don't like that they are mined in third world African nations by generations of impoverished workers. I don't like how Western men are made to feel that if you can't afford the best or that your diamond doesn't measure up that somehow your love doesn't count for as much. I don't like jewery stores, where salesmen and women perch like gargoyles waiting to pounce on unsuspecting prey. All in all, diamonds would seem to be an abomination on paper.

But damn how they do sparkle. And how my Sweetie's eyes lit up when she put on that one today. And how my heart sank when the really nice lady behind the counter (seriously, I actually liked this saleslady) said, 'This one is only $1400.00.' You may think me cheap, and heartless. After all, what is money when compared to making your one true love happy, with something she will look at forever and think of you. But for me. it's not about money, but time. $1400.00 means no ring for at least six months, and probably longer. It means continuing in this limbo called living together, calling her everything from the high schoolish 'girlfriend' to 'fiance' which inevitably leads to 'When is the big day?' Damned if I know. Do you see a ring on her finger?

It's infuriating to me to be together 5 years, to go through financial implosion, catastrophic loss, fights, arguments, near separations, only to come out stronger and more in love than ever before. Yet we are somehow less because we do not have the hardware, the paper, or the joint tax form.

I don't want to be married for them, society, family, whomever. I want it for us. I want her to be protected if something hapens to me. I want her to be the one the doctors have to talk to. I want the world to know that THIS is the one that I choose for me, forever. Most of all I just want her to know the same thing.

I'm tired of waiting for someday. Screw someday. I want to call her what she really is, today, now. She is my wife. If only it were that easy.

Posted by J. at January 23, 2005 11:49 PM